From The Pen of Catherine Earnshaw
by sammy jane
Summary: An exerpt from the diary of Catherine Earnshaw reflecting her decision to marry Edgar Linton and her inner battle between love and vanity in the case of Heathcliff. Entry begins from the point when Edgar Linton has proposed.


From the pen of Catherine Earnshaw

_Oh joy! Oh happiness! Oh perfection!_

Dearest journal,

A beautiful day this has been! I could not have imagined such coy pleasantries and joyous revelations in all my years. Dearest Edgar called on me first thing this afternoon as he had promised earlier this week. However, pretty Isabella did not accompany him this time due to an "illness". (Although I have seen her only yesterday and she is perfectly healthy) How funny it is now that I know what his true intentions were! Oh we had lovely afternoon together, sharing insights and exchanging smiles and the occasional unguarded glance. I have to note that my appearance today was nothing short of stunning. I am not being vain of course I only state the facts. However often I may scold Nelly, I must admit that she has impeccable taste and extraordinary talent when it comes to dressing up a young lady such as myself. I certainly caught Edgar marking my slender curves and gazing at my lips with something almost reflecting hunger whilst I spoke. Beyond that I took notice of his clear eyes darkening with desire when he assumed I wasn't looking his way. How long ago it seems that he made me the happiest maiden in the world. And yet it was only three quarters of an hour ago at most!

_"How lovely you are, my Catherine…"_he began.

He proceeded to glance at the door behind his shoulder and then knelt to the floor at my feet when he was assured no one was approaching.

_"Will you be my wife dearest Catherine?"_ The words are still echoing in my head. "Dearest Catherine" he called me… "Lovely" he called me. As humble as I am, I must admit that these accolades tickle my girlish sensibilities and paint a permanent smile across my face as I recall these intimate moments. Again I am astonished that these happy memories were made only earlier this very day! I can still feel his soft, gentle hands clasping mine. He has proposed. I am engaged. Of course I gave him a promising answer. Oh the way his light eyes sparkled when I assured him by reciprocating his love.

_Catherine Linton_

_Mrs. Catherine Linton_

**_Mr. & Mrs. Linton_**

Oh how lovely it sounds!

* ** *** ** *

Oh Spite! Hell!! How could this happen to me?!

I must go… I cannot stand to be idle at this moment…

I am returned. Oh dearest, dearest journal! He is gone!! My soul! _Myself!_

MY HEATHCLIFF!

If I had not chanced to venture downstairs this night to gloat to Ellen of my proposal, he should not have heard me and may be here with me yet! Alas, he is gone now and shant return. Just my horrid luck Nelly should provoke me to say such things when Heathcliff was hiding in the shadows. In fact, if it weren't for Nelly, I would still be blissfully ignorant of my true feelings for Heathcliff and would have been able to spend my life obliviously happy! But who should I be if I were to follow my heart and marry Heathcliff?

_**Catherine Heathcliff** _

_Catherine Linton_

_Catherine Earnshaw…_

** _Heathcliff….Heathcliff….._**

**** *** ** ***

Journal,

So much time has passed since Heathcliff abandoned Wuthering Heights. In doing so, he left my life an empty abyss in which the darkness swallows me and overcomes my senses. Hindley is becoming increasingly vexed with me. I do not answer him. I rarely move from my idle positions and have not tasted the sun in such a time that even I am frightened by the ghost that stares back at me in the mirror. Oh Heathcliff…Oh wretched spite…I cannot allow my thoughts to dwell on my broken heart. I cannot bear it. I must continue my life. I recall that night…I was happy before I became brutally aware of my heart. Could I ever be so content again?

** *** ** *

Dear journal,

In making myself ill for grief over 'him', Edgar's attentions have grown ever more gentle and adoring. It is hard to deny his sweet accolades or turn him away in any instance. I know Heathcliff shall not return. He heard me say it would degrade myself to marry him. Months ago I could not have written his name with such ease as I do now. It still pains me to dwell on him, but I find that Edgar has become a sort of euphoric medication that keeps me in the clouds while I look into his sweet, soft face and behold his warmth. I must admit that I am content once again, when I thought it was impossible.

Dearest, dearest journal,

My sweet Edgar has renewed his intentions to me in these blissful days past. He has been by my side every moment since that horrid night and has brought me back to the world through veils of darkness to glimpse the light that cascades out around him. I have resolved to wed my dear Edgar Linton within the year. I shall have all I could ever desire. I shall have a pretty sister and glittering possessions and we shall dine as royalty at Thrushcross Grange, my palace. Our palace.

**_Edgar and Catherine Linton. _**

_Mr. & Mrs. Linton…_


End file.
